On Being a New Mom, Part 1

I remember, very precisely, when my water broke while pregnant with my first baby. I remember all of the events that followed . I remember laughing and crying as my new, baby boy was laid on my chest. I just barely remember Dave standing there. For a moment, this screaming, red-faced little boy eclipsed even the love of my life. It is something I will never forget.

What else to I remember? I remember crying, again, as the nurse helped get me and my baby ready to leave the hospital. I didn't want to leave. I was surprised that I didn't want to leave but it did not change the fact that I was not ready to be mom. When you are pregnant, there is no shortage of women sharing their stories with you; mostly happy, some funny. You find yourself assuming that the minute you go into labor, the magic begins. There is a little magic, like what I mentioned above. But that's about it. Reality sets in immediately and it's a bit surprising.

When I got home with my sweet boy, I did not feel that magical, mystical, instant connection with him. I loved him because I was his mother and that's what mothers do. It just didn't feel at all like I thought it was going to feel like. What I felt was tired, overwhelmed and out of whack.

You don't really understand how exhausted you will be (and stay) until you experience it. Your new bundle of joy is only going to sleep for two hours at a time to begin with. And when he wakes, it won't be to coo contentedly at your side while you doze. He will awaken with demands of food, clean diapers, clean clothes. What that means is, to begin with, you are not going to be getting good, consistent sleep. So, I was tired. And, I cried, because that's what I do when I am really, really tired. Back then, I wondered what was wrong with me. Now I look back and think, "No, duh!"

And, the hormones, Oh, the hormones! They never really explain the HORMONES to you. Not that I think you'd truly understand. Again, it's one of those things that you have to experience in order to understand it. I was all over the place. I never talked to any one about how I was feeling. I wish I had because I am certain I would have be met with much understanding and sympathy. I remember crying every day for no reason I could put my finger on. Looking back, again, "No, duh!"

That was the first three weeks. Then, just like that, I started crying. (Again?) This time, I was crying because in three weeks, I was going to have to leave my little baby boy with a babysitter while I went back to work. I couldn't imagine being separated from him. Little did I know, during the past three weeks of living the life of a zombie, I was forming a connection with my Nathanael. Just like that, I was no longer just a mom. I was Mom.

Danielle

Being Mom

A lot of what I read, on the various blogs I follow, has to do with being a parent, a mother, a mother of boys. There is such great advice out there, truly. There are also a lot of great anecdotes, stories, teaching and learning moments. I've learned a lot from the other mothers out there in the vast blogosphere. The most important thing I've learned? That I'm not alone!

What I'd like to do over the next several posts, after almost nine years of being a mother, is to give back. Share what I have gained since that summer, ten years ago, when I found out I was going to be a mother. I've learned about being a step-mother, a new mother, a boys mother, a working mother, a mother of two, a stay at home mom, and a mother of two boys. Because, as you other mothers know, it's all different.
 

It has been a wonderful nine years and I am certain the next nine will be just as wonderful. These two boys have taught me a lot, about being a mom and about who I am. Their love for me amazes me and fills me with such joy! I really do love being their mother! So, stay tuned. I hope you'll enjoy what I have to share because I do feel that it is time for me to give back.

Danielle

Papier Marie

Remember how I said that I wanted to try doing portraits using papers, book pages, instead of fabric? This is what I meant....

What do you think? I used a page from an old music book for the background, white drawing paper for her flesh and the rest are pages from different books. The illustrations are from a book also. I used red colored pencil, black charcoal pencil and glitter in her hair. I'm probably going to mount her to a sturdier piece of paper because the music sheet is rather delicate.

I'm going to keep exploring this form, but only in addition to the fabric portraits I make. I had fun creating this. Let me know what you think.

Danielle

Portrait Plans 2012

I've decided to elaborate on my plans and goals for my art in 2012 here, on this blog, instead of the other blog. Just because.

Before I began on the lovely Mademoiselle Marie #3 (FYI, Marie will always be the first portrait of the new year), I thought about the ideas and thoughts and images that have been tickling my brain for the past couple of months. And, I wrote them down. So, in an effort to hold myself more accountable, here they are:

1. I have been in envisioning a portrait made with paper. Papers, plural. At first, I was thinking of adding color to paper myself, cutting out the shapes and gluing or sewing them together. Then I thought about books. Old books. Different shades of white paper, fading and yellowing. Different fonts, words, typed close together or far apart. So, I want to explore that. I have, actually. Marie was my subject, of course. I'll get her picture up soon.
2. I want to draw/watercolor paint more. Either the small, ACEO cards or larger portraits or added to my fabric portraits. Or all of those!
3. I want to work on my back stories more. More involved, more elaborate. Plan out groups of corresponding portraits as a book. (?)
4. Explore the ACEO's/drawings to greeting card avenue.
5. Treat each subject as a more complete package by including multiple forms of portraits and a story and whatever.
6. Plan. Precisely. Who, how and story. Before. Instead of frantically wracking my exhausted brain for a last bit of creative effort when the portrait is finished and I am ready to move on.
7. I would also like to investigate local and local-ish galleries. I don't know if I am going to do any shows this year.  
8. And social media. Argh. Ugh. 'nuff said.

As far as subjects are concerned, here's the short list:

• characters inspired by Charles Dickens as it is his 200th birthday this year.
• Dark Shadows characters.
• characters inspired by E. A. Poe. (Yes, I know. These first three take none of you by surprise. Hang in there.)
• Fairy tales characters- ie. Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White.
• characters from Alice in Wonderland.

Of course, all of this is subject to change.Or at least be pushed back. After all, you know as soon Halloween fever sets in, all bets are off!

What's next, now that Marie is complete? Well, I think, don't hold me to it, but...I've had Little Red Riding Hood and that fox of hers on my mind lately. Begin the fairy tales!

Danielle

First Portrait of 2012

Here's what I did this weekend.

Meet Marie #3...

Go here for more Marie!

Danielle

Baby, It's Cold Outside...So Bake Some Bread!

Cold doesn't quite capture what it feels like here in Michigan. It's freezing out there! So I am baking bread. The first loaves of the year, actually. This way I get to hang out in my warm kitchen surrounded by yummy smells.


Last year was the first time I had ever made bread. I had been kind of scared of baking bread. It just seemed like something that was way beyond me. My mother assured me I had no reason to fear baking bread so finally, last winter, I did it. And, it worked! I made bread! It wasn't scary, it was actually kinda fun. And, relaxing.

What did I learn? One of my concerns was how long it takes to make bread. It is a long process but it isn't that you are constantly working on it for 3 hours. Your actual work time is probably about a half hour. The "long" part is the three periods of waiting: the first rise, the second rise and the baking. During those times I just get on with my day; laundry, lunch, make art, whatever. All while being surround by the smell of bread baking. I also discovered a speedy wheat bread recipe and a beer bread recipe that takes all of an hour to make. Yum!

Another concern was where to put my dough for it to rise. This time of year, in this lovely, old house of mine, there isn't a warm, moist spot to be found. Well, when in doubt, look at your cookbook. I learned that all I needed to do was put a pan of boiling water on the bottom rack in my oven and the dough on the top rack. Moist and warm.

I was also concerned about kneading the dough. How? How long? Again, look in your cookbook. My cookbook has great "tips" on how and why to do different things. Plus, I found that it is true what I've heard about the process of kneading dough. It's very relaxing. And, who doesn't need to be relaxed a little?

If you've never tried making bread, I highly recommend it. There are lots of great recipes out there. It's much less expensive, too. Have you noticed the price of bread? To help tempt you further, here are some pictures:

White Bread recipe in my handy-dandy cooking/baking notebook.

Ingredients gathered.

Dry ingredients.

Wet ingredients, getting very warm.

All together now.

After two rises and ready for the oven.

Fresh from the oven. I brushed the top with butter.

One last look....Isn't it pretty? You should smell it!

Danielle

Cool Things

I thought I'd do a post of some things I had "discovered" last year that are pretty cool. Some of these "discoveries" might be old news to you but, if not check them out.

***These are in no particular order.

Do you like to mess with your own hair? Do it up? Down? Curled? Straightened? Check out this blog- The Small Things. I kept seeing pictures of her hair on Pinterest and finally decided to check her out. I was hooked instantly! The other day, I trimmed (as in gave myself) my bangs. According to her wonderful and easy instructions. They turned out great! I now plan on growing my hair out a little so that I can start wearing it up, curled, half-up, etc. Who knows? Maybe you'll be treated to the sight of me cleaning out the chicken coop with a lovely up-do goin' on.

Do you like to look at pictures? Of anything? Pinterest. PINTEREST! I resisted signing on for I-don't-know-what reason until this fall. Now I know the reason why I didn't. Everyone says it's addictive. It is! Your life just seems to pass so quickly while on Pinterest. But it's worth it.

Do you like to eat? Sensibly? Go on over to Skinnytaste. First of all, her pictures of food are fantastic! I'm a crazy-picky eater and her pictures make me salivate over foods that I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole! Her recipes are yummy and easy to follow. And, she slims it all down! Woo-hoo!

Do you like music? I found iHeart Radio this past Christmas because I was looking for more Christmas music. 24/7, take it with me wherever I go, Christmas music. And, now that Christmas is over? Well the other day I decided to take a closer look. I knew you could make your own station, based on your preferences or you could look for other stations around the country that participate. While stumbling about I came across Weezer Radio. (Tee-hee! All Weezer, all the time, I wondered? Well, not really, but close. Lots of Weezer plus other music that Weezer approves of.) There are all sorts of stations to choose from. It's pretty cool!

Do you like books? Do you read a lot and like to keep track of what you are reading, what you want to read, and what you have read? Check out Goodreads. This is an excellent source for all of that plus; reviews, quizzes, author info, and so on. They even send me a newsletter each month about books by authors I've read that are being released. Joy!

Do you like Jane Austen? Austenprose is the blog for you. All Jane, all the time. And anything Regency England. Or Downton Abbey. See why I like it?

Do you like PBS? Last year brought "Downton Abbey", "Sherlock Holmes" and "Zen". Good stuff! If you haven't seen the first season of any of these, do so. You won't be sorry.

Alright. I think this is enough for now. What did you stumble upon last year?

Danielle